F.I.D.O.

So, it's been a few months. I'm still here, and I hope you are, too.

Still have a bunch of stress, but I'm dealing better with it. Counseling has helped. I'm thankful for that. When I think about it, it amazes me that I let it go as far as I did before asking for help.

On May 9th, my son Billy graduated from high school! I'm VERY proud of him! Gracie and I drove down for the graduation. So did my brother and his family, my parents, and one of my aunts. It was a nice occasion for a mini-family reunion.

Traveling as a now divorced (was final in April) dad with a toddler was a challenge, but she did really well. Had to stop a few times each way, but that's ok. It's how memories are made, right? :-)

We stopped at Morgan's apartment on one of those stops. Gracie and Morgan hit it off! Unfortunately she didn't warm up to Billy that much, however, it's not uncommon for little girls to be shy around men. As her daddy, I hope she stays that way until she's in her thirties (which would put me in my seventies, so I'll duct tape my shotguns to my walker!). Hey, I can dream, right?!?

Gracie and Morgan

 Morgan and Billy, both adults now! :-)

Me and my kids :-)

FULLY INVOLVED: Daddy's Girl (Explicit)

FULLY INVOLVED: Daddy's Girl (Explicit): By Mark vonAppen So, I’m at this backyard BBQ when this guy walks up… Listing, he points his wine glass at me, “Fireman, ri...

Stress

Stress.

We've all heard about it, its negative effects, and how we think we're immune to it. I sure thought I was. That is, until I had a wake up call.

When I was a rookie, my dad and I were on the same volunteer fire department. An Episcopal Priest, my dad also served as the Chaplain. As such, he took a lot of classes on ministering to people who are overwhelmed by stress. My mom did too, because even though she wasn't a ordained minister (she is now :-) ) she did a lot of ministering to people who stress had seemingly overcome. As my dad was a fireman, and at the time I was a junior fireman, they went to chaplain conferences together, and then she and dad discussed a lot of what they learned on the subject of stress. I think they did it deliberately in front of me, so I'd hopefully listen.

The first fatality incident I went to was a fatal car wreck. I was still 16. We responded mutual aid to the county FD. The car was wrapped, roof first, around a tree. Oh, it was also 15 feet off the ground. Nothing like a challenge, right? All I did on that call was be a go-fer for the senior members, which suited me fine.

The driver died instantly.  Her sibling was trapped for several hours. They cut the floor pan off to get her out.  She had only minor physical injuries. I'm certain her psychological scars, however, took longer to heal.

That call was 25½ yrs ago as of this writing. I've seen way too many dead people since then. Car wrecks, fires, plane crashes, homicides, suicides, accidental overdoses, drownings, boat wrecks, falls, electrocutions, hangings, strokes, heart attacks, SIDS, ... , the list goes on. Overall, death doesn't particularly bother me anymore. I believe that we made an agreement with God and came to this Earth to partake, as spiritual beings, in a human journey. With that, we know, before coming to Earth, how we'll die. My friend Jesus assures me that, through a relationship with Him, we'll be back in Heaven after our early adventures are complete.

Back to those conversations with my parents. 

One thing that struck me as particularly odd was that stress can completely take your focus off your job. A fireman under extreme stress could be working at a fire and his mind not be in his duty. I was astounded to hear that. It'd been my dream since I could walk that I wanted to be a fireman. How can that happen?

Well, this year I learned that to be true.

2013 totally and completely SUCKED for me.  Last winter, Amy's grandpa died. He was like a grandpa to me too. A couple months later, a well respected fireman at the FD next door died in a wreck on the way to a call. A couple months later, Matt died. Then in September, Amy left me and asked for a divorce. So you see, 2013 totally and completely sucked.

Last month I had my annual review at work. While overall it wasn't bad, it was the worst one I've ever had. Ever. At any job. Ever.

Am I mad? No. In discussing it with my captain, I told him how I felt overwhelmed and don't know what to do. He stopped short of ordering me to go to the EAP. I think it's cuz I asked about how to initiate it. In either case, I'm going now. Still early in the sessions, but I think it's gonna be good.

Remember how astounded I was to hear that stress can make you not think about tasks at hand, like putting out a fire? I'm living proof. My company has attended several fires this fall and winter. At one in particular, while I stayed at my captain's side and did what was expected (humping hose, pulling ceiling, nozzle time on a fully involved room at one point), I knew what I was doing, but my mind was on my divorce. I'm sure you readers will agree with me that when you're in a combat firefighting situation, your head really should be on the job.

That fire was another topic during my review with the captain.  Not so much critiquing the job - we made a damn fine stop actually. More over on my mindset. He mentioned the EAP should be able to help, which it seems to be. I'll write more about it at a later time.

I never in my widest dreams thought I'd be a member of the multiple divorce club. I sure don't want to be, but here I am.  I'm not the first, and I dare say I won't be the last man to join this club.

The guys on my company have been awesome. Long before I realized I've got a problem, they saw it, and have been helping me thru it. I thank God for them. I've been short tempered (shorter than usual) and they've tolerated it, even helping me through it. I believe I'm starting to work through it. I hope and pray that I am. God sent them to me for a reason, and I thank Him every day.

One good way, according to the "experts", to deal with stress is to have a hobby or two. I love camping.  Sold the old camper a while back, but have recently replaced it. I also like to go to the gun range for "group therapy" - as in putting a nice grouping of holes on the paper targets! No competing, except with my last shot. Quite relaxing.

I find the best relaxation to be watching a beautiful sunset when I'm camping. Close to nature (well, IN nature actually) and watching God's painting in the late afternoon sky. 

Yeah...

1974 Maxim for sale

While driving near my parents place I came across this 1974 Maxim for sale between Columbus and Youngsville PA on U.S. 6. I do not know the seller, and I make no claims for the seller. Dad says it's been sitting there for several months.

I love older apparatus, and IF I had the space for it and IF I had the money, well, I'd've already bought it. I don't. I hate to see old beauties sitting, unwanted. I stopped by there this afternoon (12.1.2013) looked her over & got some pics.

From what I could tell, it's a 1974 Maxim F-Series cab with a diesel/automatic drive train. I couldn't find a plate with a pump rating, but it appears to be 1000 GPM and is single stage. I don't know the tank size, but I'd guess (based on my past experiences with apparatus of similar sizes) that the tank is 1000 to 1250 gallons in size, with my money betting on the 1000 gal size.

The body appears to have been rebuilt. It's got 4 Guys signs on the fenders, and is stainless steel. It has ¾ height compartments on both sides, a bracket for a dump tank, and space to mount ladders, but no ladder brackets.

The only seat on the rig is the driver's seat - all the others have been removed. There are beacons on the front and rear corners, and an electronic siren by Federal Signal (Interceptor?).

I don't know the maker of the diesel engine. I freely admit I didn't feel like climbing on someone else's privately owned engine in the snow when I'm on their property, unannounced and uninvited.

The sign in the front window said the price is $7000 obo. Call Steve at:
814-489-7815 or
814-688-6602

Like I said above, I do not know Steve, and I have no further info on the apparatus for sale. If I had the necessary resources (money & space to put it) I would've already bought it myself. I'm simply taking this opportunity to help an old fire engine find a good home.

Busy Year

It's been almost a year since I've posted.

Oops.

Sorry, I hope you're not too heart broken. My last post eluded to changes in my household, and as of this writing, that change is now thirteen months old! To say time has been short is to say water is wet. I'll try to write more, I promise.

It's been interesting over the last year to say the least.

I'm still just an ordinary fireman, an Engineer at Engine Co. 3, C-Shift. Yes, I'm one of those !@&€¥®©¿% C-Shifters. And proud of it!

I've been here for a little over a year and a half now. Got a decent crew, makes coming to work pretty tolerable. We've been molding as a crew, had a lot of fun times together and have become a pretty good team. While we've been responding to others' emergencies and tragedies, we've made quite a positive impact in many lives.

We're also recovering from our own tragedy.

I took some vacation time in May so I could attend my oldest daughter's high school graduation. It was all the usual pomp and circumstance, and why not? They earned it. On May 3, 2013, my oldest walked across the stage and got her diploma. As of this writing, she starts college next week!

While in the school, I had no phone signal. When, after the ceremony, I'd gotten back to my car, my phone started ringing. It was one of the guys on my crew. He asked if I was sitting down, and I knew there was bad news. I figured we had a LODD.

No.

Another man on our crew, Matt, is dead.

I was completely shocked. How?

Suicide.

WTF???

He was in his late twenties, married just over a year, and was quite squared away. He and his wife were a beautiful couple, and it was a joy for me to hear him talk about their adventures together.

Matt had a wicked sense of humor and an infectious smile. He was very professional, and always wanted to bring others up. He was competent in his skills as a fireman and as an EMT, and was one we could count on.

Don't take this as my blowing sunshine - he was, to me, a pesky little brother. Little as in younger, shorter, and he was a wiry fella too. (I make no bones in describing myself - I'm what I call a non-petite fellow, and my love of food is why. I own it.) Like me, he was quite opinionated, stubborn, and willing to share how he felt about something. Maybe that's why we got along, but also would have what I'll call "spirited" discussions. Not all the time, not every shift. And not any different than any other members of any fire crew. Believe me, I was just as much a pesky big brother to him. The key point: we were brothers. I loved him.

I first met him when I was an Engineer at Engine Co. 2 on A-Shift. We worked together for several months until I transferred to Ladder Co. 1, C-Shift. Shortly after, he also transferred there, but on A-Shift. We'd see each other at shift change and on occasional trade days and overtimes. We were there for several years, and about the time I transferred to Engine Co. 3, he transferred to Engine Co. 5, now on C-Shift. We saw each other at trainings, calls, and on the occasional detailing to each other's stations. Matt transferred to our crew last winter, and fit right in.

Like I said earlier, Matt's skills were solid. When he and I were on the ambulance together, I never wanted for anything. He was right there with what I was about to ask for. In a fire, too, he could be counted on. My last two fires with him were this past spring.

One was a house fire. We were on the ambulance and were first in. We geared up and went in with the hose crew to pull ceilings for them. The fire started on the back wall and extended into the attic. He and I worked quickly together and cleared the ceilings. The guys on the hose stopped the fire in its tracks. Damage was minimized, that family didn't lose many of their belongings, and were able to rebuild their home, and their lives, quickly. It feels good to be able to help people like that.

The other fire was in a two-story four-plex town home. The end unit on the Delta side had a fire in the pipe chase where the fireplace flu pipes ran. The pipe chase was fully involved and the fire extended into the attic. That shift I served as the acting captain, Matt was the nozzle man, and another fireman named Andy was the back-up. We were first in. We stretched to the front door and made entry. The fire was burning through the wall above the mantle. Matt hit it quickly. We then had to move upstairs. I sent Andy to the door to hump hose in to the stairs. I sent Matt up the stairs to the landing, and I passed hose to Matt from the base of the stairs until Andy got to me.

When I got to Matt's side, it was pitch black and fairly warm. We couldn't see any fire, but we could hear it. Matt opened the nozzle and gave a good blast. After he shut down, we couldn't hear the pop-crackle of the fire in that room anymore, but could hear the hissing of steam. We could hear fire burning above our heads. I used my axe to make a small hole in the ceiling, and we felt more heat. After twisting the knob to a fog pattern, we shoved the tip through the hole and blasted the attic. Command called on the radio advising that all he could see now was steam coming from the building. Matt asked me if we should vent that window. I said what window? He said the one over there. I said Matt I can't see you at all, nor where you're pointing. He and I both laughed and he then said to my left. With the window vented, we could now see and check for extension.

We were pleased. This time there was more damage, but that family, as well as the other families would be able to get on with their life, sooner rather than later. Still a good feeling. 

So Matt died. 

I spent the next several weeks thinking about every conversation between us that I could recall. I was looking for any sign at all that would clue in to why. I can't find any. At all. He had everything going for him. He and his wife were madly in love with each other and both in careers they love, in a good house for them to start a family in when the time came... 

I don't know. I wish there was something I could have seen. I know I'm not the only one.

*Sigh*.

Look, I'm not trying to write this as a pity-party. Far from it. I'm writing this because if you're suicidal, there are plenty of resources out there to help you through your crisis.

Here is a good link (you may need to copy/paste it into your browser address bar) for anyone who may need it:

http://www.ffbha.org

IF YOU FEEL SUICIDAL, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE SEEK HELP! IT IS A SIGN OF STRENGTH TO ASK FOR HELP! IT IS NOT WEAKNESS! 

R.I.P. Matt. I love you, Bro.

And I miss you.

This post is dedicated

 to the memory of Matt Young.

It's Been A Busy Summer For This Ordinary Fireman!

On Valentine's Day, Amy & I announced we were expecting a baby. (Click HERE to see.)  We even posted a picture, to get votes on a boy or girl:



Well, on July 2nd, 2012, at 0610hrs, our daughter Gracie was born! Mom & baby did great! Gracie was nineteen inches long, and weighed in at an even six pounds. After a standard forty-eight hour admit, I had the honor of taking my wife and our baby home on July 4th. Gracie got fireworks! (She slept right through them).

Amy knitted this hat for Gracie! It fit perfectly!



Awesome! It's the only way to describe it!

I took a month off from work (thanks to the FMLA). I would like to say that gave me more time to blog and do recreational activities, but, alas, no, it did not. This being a daddy for a newborn thing... How did I do it with my other two kids??? Oh yeah, I was 23 & 24 when they were born... now I'm 41 (I turned 41 a few weeks after she was born, but what's age at this point anyway?)

She is doing quite well. She can now sit up (sorta) in a seat, and she recognizes things, like the stuff in her room, our dogs, and of course, her mom and I! As of this writing, she is nine weeks old. Today she got her first round of shots. It wasn't pleasant, but we got through it.

So I mentioned that I took a month off work. During that time, I was able to grow a goatee, which is pretty common for me when I take a vacation, but I was off for a total of five weeks, so I was pretty impressed with it myself! Not at all anything like ZZ Top grows, but for me, it's as good as it'll be until I'm retired from firefighting! This shot was taken about two minutes before I shaved it off. Gracie helped me with the photo, but I took care of the actual shaving!

It doesn't even look like me!

Once back at work, well, it was pretty much the same thing, except the secretaries have been hounding me for pictures and chances to hold the baby! I work with a great group of people, and it really is an honor to call them friends.

I did a shift on the ambulance, a shift behind the wheel, even rode backwards for a shift (that's tailboard firefighting for those of you old enough to remember what that is!) and spent the rest of the time riding the seat, as our captain was on vacation. Most of the calls were routine, run of the mill type calls.

We also caught a job at a local care center. The staff there did a GREAT JOB in evacuating the residents. I truely give them a tip o' the ol' leather for their job well done. They saved a lot of lives, and frankly, saved us a lot of work. The system worked. The alarm activated, and the alarm company called us. So did the staff. They evacuated and isolated, as per their training and protocols. They even were able to dump an ABC on the fire, which significantly slowed it down to where we put it out with less than the equivilent of a pan of water. We did have to ventilate, but that comes with it. The sprinkler system didn't activate, but I credit the staff's quick actions in ensuring it did not get hot enough to activate. Again, a job well done!

For those of you who like baby pictures, here's a few more:

Even Gracie likes leather fire helmets!



Too bad there isn't video - for being nine days old when these shots were taken, she was cooing up a storm!

Gracie and her older brother Billy!

Gracie and her older sister Morgan!

Gracie spit up all over Morgan right after this shot was taken (sorry Morgan). #BirthControl!!!

ATTENTION ALL BOYS - READ THIS NOW - I AM A FIREMAN WITH TWO DAUGHTERS:

CLICK HERE NOW!

READ IT! KNOW IT!

BE SCARED!

Gracie and I on a walk.

These Bumbo chairs are COOL! I wish we'd had them when Morgan and Billy were babies!

Thanks for stopping by.

Stay safe, and God bless!

Ken

Fire Inspections - Are They Worthless? Or Is There SOME Value To Them?

What are some of the most worthless mundane things that we do while we're on duty? No, I'm not talking about running calls, even if it's the same place we've been to a thousand times before, and the same patient we've treated a thousand times before. Running calls is our reason for being here. 

If you're thinking fire inspections, well, so am I. When it is announced that inspections is on the list of ta-do's for the shift, there is seemingly always a collective groan amongst the members. I freely admit that I'm one of them. In the towns covered by my FD, there are different building codes, which can  sometimes drive the Prevention Division members mad. As far as the general fire code inspections go, well, they aren't really very enforceable. The courts haven't backed us up, per se. That doesn't mean we can't do them, it just means that staying in violation of the fire code won't result in a legal penalty assessed by the court.

Is there value to fire code enforcement? Absolutely. For starters, since the inception of business fire code inspections in the early 1990s, our commercial fires are down. Dramatically down. When business fires are reduced, companies don't get markedly inconvenienced or put out of business when there is a fire. People keep their jobs. Employeed people can provide for their family's needs and contribute to the local economy. To me, a very good thing.

Another advantage: if/when there is a fire, the business's insurance carrier ALWAYS want to see the latest fire code inspection results. It seems that while the courts may not totally have our backs, the insurance companies have a bigger power of persuasion with businesses. Maybe it's better that way.

So, at least for me, I don't slack off when we go do them. Besides, most business management folks I've talked to almost always thank us for pointing out potential issues that can cause a fire. Business owners and managers who have good heads on their shoulders don't want a fire, and when shown how simply and relatively inexpensively they can remedy an issue, they usually start correction efforts on the spot, if they can.

Ok, so, this week my engine company got started on our annual list of fire inspections. We drew fifty-six businesses to perform fire code inspections on this year. Not bad. We usually start on them in late spring, and get them done before summer is out. We got thirteen done the other day, including a vacant (DONE!) and of the thirteen, six are complete already. The rest really only have minor issues - exit lights not functioning, fire extinguishers needing service, etc. Nothing worth shutting down a business over. I'm confident they will be corrected before we return in three weeks. Easy work.

Now, here is the part of inspections that I do like. (Ken, are you feeling ok? You said that you actually LIKE to do inspections?) No, I said there are parts of inspections that I like. Seeing what is stored, so that if/when we have a response, we know what hazards there are likely to be (Firefighter Safety issues) and to look at how various locks are used in our response area (Forcible Entry issues) for starters.

We rolled up to a gas station and during a walk-around we were surprised to see several barrels with labels on them stating the contents were either "Flammable Liquids" or "Non-Hazardous Waste". Hmmm... So, when we were talking to the manager, we got the scoop on them. Several years ago there was an accident there that resulted in underground pipes breaking, and there was a massive flood of gasoline in that part of town. Thank God it didn't ignite! Anyway, they recovered a lot of the product at an emergency dam built on a creek (it was an underflow dam IIRC). A shipper came and picked up all of the barrels except for what we saw on the visit. We suggested they contact that shipper again, or perhaps another one.

 Hmmm...

More hmmm...

One thing I've noticed over the past several years is the demographics of my town are changing. Drastically. And not necessarily for the better. Some folks blame the economy. Others blame urban flight. I don't know, or care, what you want to call it. But the marked increase in crimes over the past years isn't due to an increase in population - it's grown, but not as fast as the crime rate. So, why do I mention this? Because with increased crime rates come increased security measures. Increased security measures means we have increased forcible entry challenges.

Drop bar at a local business. Crude? Not really. Effective? Yes! Easy to force? Well, it is if you think it through.

Note the slot on the door that the steel tab drops in to. Pad locks hold it in place when securing the door after hours.

Using a K12-type of power saw can yield fast results. Cutting the heads of the bolts off will allow a traditional force, as the bar will stay in place when we force the door open. Then we can simply remove the bar, once the door is open.

Failing that, we can also cut the hinges, but this will take more time.



So, as you can see, going out and doing fire code inspections isn't always a bad thing. There ARE advantages to it, as boring, pointless, and mundane as they seem.

Thanks for reading.

Stay safe and God bless.

Ken

(NOTE: Before this gets out of hand: Folks, this is NOT an attack on the volunteer sector of firefighting. I have been a volunteer firefighter, and would gladly do it again, if I lived in an area that was served by a volunteer fire department. The intent of this post isn't to slam VFDs, but rather, to point out some of the more mundane things that have to be done in the paid sector. If there are VFDs out there who perform some/all of the same non-emergency duties that are performed in the paid sector, please accept my apologies for my ignorance, and let it lay. My sincere thanks for the services you provide to your community.)